Flattery
Definition: Flattery is false praise that is give in order to gain favor or influence with a person.
1. God pleasers – not people pleasers.
For we speak as messengers approved by God to be entrusted with the Good News. Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts. – 1 Thessalonians 2:4
For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ. – Galatians 1:10
For we never came with flattering speech, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed--God is witness-- nor did we seek glory from men, either from you or from others, even though as apostles of Christ we might have asserted our authority. – 1 Thessalonians 2:5-6
How refreshing is it to know that we only need to please God. Let’s face it, it is impossible to please everyone all of the time and you will most likely burn yourself out if you try to. God is the one we are accountable to; God is the one we serve, and God is the one we live our lives for. Yes, we need to love people, but we don’t need to prioritize pleasing them over pleasing God.
2. Do not give flattery or false praise.
They speak falsehood to one another; With flattering lips and with a double heart they speak. May the LORD cut off all flattering lips, The tongue that speaks great things; - Psalm 12:2-3
Complements that are genuine are great to receive and can be so encouraging. But there is nothing worse than people who give compliments and kind words that they don’t really mean for personal gain. We should not say things that our hearts don’t really mean. And when we encourage, compliment and support one another, we should do it without expecting anything in return.
3. Flattery is deceiving.
There is nothing reliable in what they say; Their inward part is destruction itself Their throat is an open grave; They flatter with their tongue. – Psalm 5:9
A lying tongue hates those it crushes, And a flattering mouth works ruin. – Proverbs 26:28
A man who flatters his neighbor Is spreading a net for his steps. – Proverbs 29:5
Now I urge you, brethren, keep your eye on those who cause dissensions and hindrances contrary to the teaching which you learned, and turn away from them. For such men are slaves, not of our Lord Christ but of their own appetites; and by their smooth and flattering speech they deceive the hearts of the unsuspecting. – Romans 16:17-18
With her many persuasions she entices him; With her flattering lips she seduces him. Suddenly he follows her As an ox goes to the slaughter, Or as one in fetters to the discipline of a fool, Until an arrow pierces through his liver; As a bird hastens to the snare, So he does not know that it will cost him his life. – Proverbs 7:21-23
Flattery (false praise for selfish gain) is deceiving and destructive. It leads people to think you are a good, kind person but in the meantime, you are only acting that way for selfish gain. Flattery is very manipulative and often traps people. We should not use our words to smooth talk, manipulate or deceive people; instead our words should be truthful, kind and genuine.
4. A rebuke is more constructive than flattery.
He who rebukes a man will afterward find more favor Than he who flatters with the tongue. – Proverbs 28:23
I would much rather have someone tell me the truth, even if it hurts than have someone tell me nice things that are a lie. When a person corrects and rebukes you, you have an opportunity to learn, grow and become a better person. If you take advise and positive criticism you will benefit from it in the future. When people falsely praise and support you, they are deceiving you and it might cause you to go down the wrong path without anyone warning you about it.
5. Falsely talking things that the heart does not mean.
May the LORD cut off all flattering lips, the tongue that speaks proud things. – Psalm 12:3
When you boast about yourself, the things you have done and the things you will do but have no intention of carrying them though you are deceiving yourself and people. Let your words always match your actions, and have integrity in everything you do.
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